


Swaghetti and Memeballs

by hanitea



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Autistic Keith (Voltron), Autistic Pidge | Katie Holt, Autistic Romelle (Voltron), Chatting & Messaging, Conspiracy Theories, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, First Kiss, Group chat, Keith Has A Tumblr Account, M/M, Multi, Pidge Has A Tumblr Account, Polyamory, Secret Crush, Slow Burn, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Trans Characters, Trans Matt Holt, Trans Romelle (Voltron), additional relationships to be added - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-06-26 16:43:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15667191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanitea/pseuds/hanitea
Summary: Lance Mcclain: Let him gay in peace, what else is he good for?Keith Kogane: do you want to fucking box, flat ass?Lance Mcclain: FLAT?!





	1. The Beginning

**_Lance Mcclain added Hunk Garrett, Pidge Holt, and 5 others to Swaghetti and Memeballs_ **

**Lance Mcclain:** Welcome to my little shindig, especially to the furries of our group, you have not be forgotten; Keith, Pidge.

**Pidge Holt:** it’s about time you get around to sucking my dick you little shit

**Lance Mcclain:** It really be like that huh..

**Pidge Holt:** it really be like that.

**Lance Mcclain:** Shiro aren’t you going to help me?

**Takashi Shirogane:** I most certainly am not.

**Lance Mcclain:** :^( Father why

**Takashi Shirogane:** You excluded one furry.

**Lance Mcclain:** Who, father :^(

**Takashi Shirogane:** Me.

**Lance Mcclain:** FUCKSBHFSDHFSKFBG

**Pidge Holt:** ARE YOU SERIOUS?

**Takashi Shirogane:** Of course not. 

**Lance Mcclain:** I feel as if that’s a lie..

**Takashi Shirogane:** ;{^)

**Keith Kogane:** evil…

**Lance Mcclain:** Will **_@Hunk Garrett_** please come down to the foyay, I have a little surprise for him..

**Hunk Garrett:** Is that a chicken???

**Pidge Holt:** askbdhasdg welcome online buddy

**Hunk Garrett:** Thanks gremlin!

**Pidge Holt:** bitch??

**Lance Mcclain:** I hate the negativity in here.

**Keith Kogane:** i love it.

**Takashi Shirogane:** You know what I love?

**Lance Mcclain:** What, father?

**Takashi Shirogane:** Adam.

**Keith Kogane:** gay

**Takashi Shirogane:** Keith, you are gay.

**Keith Kogane:** .. triple gay.

**Takashi Shirogane:** Excuse me?

**Lance Mcclain:** Let him gay in peace, what else is he good for?

**Keith Kogane:** do you want to fucking box, flat ass?

**Lance Mcclain:** FLAT?!

**Pidge Holt:** it is pretty flat. i pity whoever dates you and wants to just have a lil tap.

**Hunk Garrett:** It would feel like hitting a brick wall.

**Keith Kogane:** like putting a dick in a mattress..

**Takashi Shirogane:** I’m sorry, excuse me Keith?

**Keith Kogane:** nothing.

**Pidge Holt:** i feel like we should focus more on that..

**Takashi Shirogane:** Let’s not.

**Pidge Holt:** .. understood.

**Lance Mcclain:** Subject change; who’s ready for school to start back up?

**Pidge Holt:** not me, i’ll probably have that bitch Mrs. Silver again..

**Keith Kogane:** i’m not ready either, knowing my luck, James will be in my class.

**Takashi Shirogane:** Griffin?

**Keith Kogane:** yeah. he has some fucking weird ass vendetta against me.

**Lance Mcclain:** Lmao good fucking luck!

**Pidge Holt:** hey, how come Allura and Romelle aren’t talking?

**Hunk Garrett:** They’re probably busy, finishing up at work most likely! They both have morning shifts.

**Pidge Holt:** oh yeah,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

**Takashi Shirogane:** You should get a job Pidge.

**Pidge Holt:** absolutely the fuck not.

**Takashi Shirogane:** Understandable. 

**Keith Kogane:** why isn’t Matt talking though?

**Pidge Holt:** he’s tryna suck his own dick.

**Takashi Shirogane:** Excuse me?

**Pidge Holt:** kidding he’s doing an online math quiz like a fucking nerd.

**Keith Kogane:** ew.

**Pidge Holt:** ikr

**Takashi Shirogane:** Pidge you’re like 15 why are you even talking about dick.

**Pidge Holt:** you’re like 25 why aren’t you talking about it.

**Takashi Shirogane:** Because children are around.

**Pidge Holt:** like fucking who?

**Takashi Shirogane:** Hunk.

**Pidge Holt:** understandable. 

**Hunk Garrett:** I am not a child.

**Keith Kogane:** but aren’t you, hunk. aren’t you?

**Hunk Garrett:** Damn Keith, a shot in the heart…

**Lance Mcclain:** AND YOU’RE TO BLAME

**Pidge Holt:** DARLING YOU GIVE LOVE, A BAD NAME!

**Lance Mcclain:** (BAD NAME!)

**Keith Kogane:** literally die. 

**Lance Mcclain:** Go commit die.

**Pidge Holt:** do you is want dead?

**Keith Kogane:** yes.

**Pidge Holt:** k be over in 5.

**Keith Kogane:** im a bad bitch you cant kill me.

**Pidge Holt:** bitch??

**Keith Kogane:** give me your fucking money.

**Pidge Holt:** no.

**Lance Mcclain:** *law and order sound effect*

**Keith Kogane:** ASKDBHJASKDHGSD

**Lance Mcclain:** Ah, the keysmash of a gay.

**Keith Kogane:** it’s about to be the keysmash of me slamming your head into my keyboard.

**Lance Mcclain:** Kinky.

**Matt Holt:** you guys don’t even know the definition of kinky you’re like 5.

**Lance Mcclain:** MATT BABEY!

**Matt Holt:** LANCE HONEY!

**Pidge Holt:** ew don’t call my brother babey.

**Lance Mcclain:** Shut up gremlin.

**Pidge Holt:** fucking rude?

**Matt Holt:** don’t call my lil sis a gremlin!

**Lance Mcclain:** I’m sorry bro..

**Matt Holt:** no…… i thought you were bae….. turns out you’re just fam.

**Lance Mcclain:** Bro..

**Matt Holt:** *peace signs*

**Pidge Holt:** did i just watch a breakup happen?

**Matt Holt:** no lance isn’t my type.

**Lance Mcclain:** WOW OKAY!

**Lance Mcclain:** You aren’t my type either, Matthew fucking Holt.

**Matt Holt:** then what is your type?

**Lance Mcclain:** People with light brown hair, brown eyes, flawless skin,,

**Matt Holt:** BITCH THAT’S ME.

**Lance Mcclain:** NO IT’S NOT MATT YOU AREN’T MY TYPE.

**Matt Holt:** YOU LITERALLY DESCRIBED ME!

**Lance Mcclain:** BUT I DON’T LIKE YOU!

**Matt Holt:** ,,, I’ve got my eyes on you..

**Pidge Holt:** yo matt what is your type?

**Matt Holt:** anyone who can kick my ass.

**Pidge Holt:** so definitely not Lance.

**Lance Mcclain:** BITCH?????

**Takashi Shirogane:** Don’t call your future wife a bitch, Lance.

**Lance Mcclain:** SHIRO?!

**Allura Altea:** What the fuck did I just come onto..


	2. Brussel Sprouts, Yo!

**_Lance Mcclain messaged Swaghetti and Memeballs_ **

**Lance Mcclain:** Yo, why do brussel sprouts taste like ass.

**Pidge Holt:** how do u know what ass tastes like?

**Lance Mcclain:** Not the point, Pidge.

**Hunk Garrett:** Why are you eating brussel sprouts, Lance? You hate those.

**Lance Mcclain:** Mama told me my diet needs to be more healthy.

**Pidge Holt:** how fucking healthy do you need to be, you look like a fucking stick.

**Keith Kogane:** i side with pidge.

**Lance Mcclain:** Shut up you two, don’t question mama.

**Keith Kogane:** your mom is crazy

**Lance Mcclain:** NO SHE’S NOT?

**Keith Kogane:** she threw a spoon at me when i visited your house, Lance

**Lance Mcclain:** .. I may have been telling her you’ve been calling me ‘dumbo ears’.

**Pidge Holt:** you do have big ears, lance.

**Lance Mcclain:** NO??

**Takashi Shirogane:** Don’t bully Lance, he’s sensitive. 

**Lance Mcclain:** Wow father eat my left nut.

**Takashi Shirogane:** No.. I don’t like rotten food.

**Lance Mcclain:** WOW!

**Pidge Holt:** get fucking toasted

**Lance Mcclain:** Eat my ass Pidge

**Pidge Holt:** reread shiro’s last message lance

**Lance Mcclain:** Oh fuck you

**Matt Holt:** don’t fuck my little sister

**Lance Mcclain:** Oh?

**Matt Holt:** i have my eye on you lance

**Lance Mcclain:** Hot.

**Keith Kogane:** i fucking hate this group chat

**Lance Mcclain:** Then leave, ugly!!!

**Pidge Holt:** keith isn’t ugly what are you on, lance?

**Lance Mcclain:** Crack.

**Pidge Holt:** that’s why you’re so skinny huh.

**Lance Mcclain:** Fuck off Pidge oh my god.

**Allura Altea:** Are we really bullying Lance today?

**Pidge Holt:** yeah.

**Romelle Opien:** That’s fucked up yo.

**Hunk Garrett:** ROMELLE!!

**Romelle Opien:** Hunk!

**Pidge Holt:** be straight somewhere else losers

**Romelle Opien:** I’m a big lesbian Pidge eat my whole ass

**Pidge Holt:** gladly

**Lance Mcclain:** Jesus..

**Matt Holt:** WHOS JESUS?!

**Lance Mcclain:** NO ONE BABEY YOU’RE MY NUMBER ONE!

**Matt Holt:** THAT MEANS YOU HAVE OTHER NUMBERS!

**Lance Mcclain:** NO I SWEAR I DONT!

**Pidge Holt:** god can you guys be gay somewhere else PLEASE

**Lance Mcclain:** Pidge you were literally saying you’d be happy to eat Romelles ass

**Pidge Holt:** … perhaps. 

**Keith Kogane:** you guys are all fucking losers

**Lance Mcclain:** I KNOW DAMN WELL KEITH ‘IM EMO’ KOGANE DID NOT JUST USE THE L WORD

**Pidge Holt:** it’s time to exterminate the keith’s of this world

**Lance Mcclain:** You’re so fucking right Pidge marry me right now for being so smart.

**Pidge Holt:** no your ass is too flat

**Lance Mcclain:** WHY DO YOU GUYS PAY SO MUCH ATTENTION TO MY ASS?!

**Allura Altea:** I think your ass is wonderful.

**Lance Mcclain:** Thank you Allura, marry me.

**Allura Altea:** I’m big lesbian.

**Lance Mcclain:** FUCK

**Keith Kogane:** rest in peace fucking ugly

**Lance Mcclain:** KEITH WHY?!

**Keith Kogane:** sorry i’m just in a bitter mood. ugly.

**Lance Mcclain:** What’s going on, mullet head? Why’re you bitter?

**Keith Kogane:** i deadass don’t want school to start back up. 

**Pidge Holt:** this is because of James isn’t it?

**Keith Kogane:** yeah.

**Lance Mcclain:** Don’t worry Keith, if he tries anything this year, I’ll beat him in the ground!

**Keith Kogane:** wow i can’t wait to watch a stick try and beat a rock

**Lance Mcclain:** I’M TRYING TO BE HELPFUL 

**Takashi Shirogane:** Keith, would it make you feel better if I said I would beat him into the ground instead?

**Keith Kogane:** yes. thank the gods. that’d be like a boulder fighting a pebble. i love you Shiro. get you a brother like Shiro.

**Pidge Holt:** i do want to see Shiro kick James’ ass.

**_Lance Mcclain changed Takashi Shirogane’s nickname to Boulder_ **

**Pidge Holt:** perfect

**Matt Holt:** lance you’re a hero

**Lance Mcclain:** Hell yeah I am!

**Boulder:** .. How do I change my name back?

**Keith Kogane:** LMAOSJHFBSHFJVFD

**Matt Holt:** ah, good to have you back, keysmasher.

**Keith Kogane:** suck my dick and balls Matt

**Matt Holt:** k drop trou right now

**Keith Kogane:** NO!

**Matt Holt:** fucking COWARD

**Keith Kogane:** OH MY GOD!

**Pidge Holt:** wow is everyone just being gay with my brother today?

**Matt Holt:** don’t be jealous pidgeon. 

**Pidge Holt:** go suck Keith’s dick

**Matt Holt:** he said no :^(

**Keith Kogane:** OH MY FUCKING GOD

**Allura Altea:** You guys are so embarrassing..

**Pidge Holt:** you looove us allura

**Lance Mcclain:** Yeah!

**Allura Altea:** Unfortunately.. 

**Pidge Holt:** hey. guys.

**Lance Mcclain:** What?

**_Pidge Holt changed Lance Mcclain’s nickname to Flat Ass_ **

**Flat Ass:** WHY?!

**Pidge Holt:** its flat.

**Flat Ass:** >:^(

**_Flat Ass changed Pidge Holt’s nickname to Gremlin_ **

**Gremlin:** thank you

**Flat Ass:** UGH!

**Keith Kogane:** hah. gremlin. 

**Gremlin:** shut up Keith

**Keith Kogane:** Matt your sister told me to shut up

**Matt Holt:** pidgeon play nice

**Gremlin:** what the fuck?

**Hunk Garrett:** God this group chat is a mess.

**Gremlin:** you’re so fucking right Hunk let’s ditch it

**Flat Ass:** NO I FORBID THAT!

**Gremlin:** forbid my dick

**_Gremlin left Swaghetti and Memeballs_ **

**_Flat Ass added Pidge Holt to Swaghetti and Memeballs_ **

**Pidge Holt:** goddammit..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed this chapter!!

**Author's Note:**

> another chat fic? yeah,,, i have no self control,,,,,,, hope you enjoyed!


End file.
